“Twitter is like the hotel California. You can check in anytime you like, but you can never check out. When i joined twitter they never said i could never leave. Must have been in the small print.
Twitter is drunk on power. When you try and deactivate your account it says: “Twitter is over capacity”. Surely deacativating people’s accounts would help the problem of over capacity. Twitter is out of its mind. Twitter stop showing me the image of some birds kidnapping whale!
Eddie Izzard convinced me to get twitter. Maybe he works for them. Maybe i should cycle round his house and demand release. Don’t know where he lives.
I can feel twitter’s claw tightening round my soft white neck help! Please twitter i just want to be who i was before i joined. Someone who was carefree and footloose. Twitter you have made me different. I was innocent and full of gay abandon. Twitter what is this black forest i cant breathe!
Oh my god twitter is holding up a mirror to my face. AAAAHHH I AM TWITTER! WE ALL ARE!
Before i plan my escape a few last things to clear up. Firstly i am not Florence and secondly use twitter to spread love. Run now children be free. Oh and also remember i can’t leave! None of us can! So probably see you in a few months/weeks/days/hours/mins.”
— Noel Fielding
(Source: twitter.com)
